Oatmeals, Ranked

Here is an official ranking of oatmeals from your pal, Sgt. Hammerclaw. I’ll be honest, I didn’t pull any punches here so if you’re not prepared to have your entire world turned upside down, you might want to stop reading right now and save yourself the heartache.


1. Apples & Cinnamon

Controversial? Of course. It wouldn’t be a controversial blog post if I went with “Plain” or “Pretentious Organic,” would it?

2. All the rest.

All of the other oatmeals are very good, too. I like oatmeal. I don’t have it often, but it is good.

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The MLB Lone-Star Game

Two nights ago, internet hero, Ken Tremendous, presented a challenge to his followers by asking them to develop a roster of the worst MLB all-stars of all time. Included in his tweets was a reminder that every team must send a representative to the game every year.

This gave me an idea: “The MLB Lone-Star Game”

The concept was simple. Every year, a bunch of teams have only one representative that are selected to participate in the MLB All-Star Game. Some of these guys deserve to be there, but many others do not. My plan was to go back, identify every “lone-star,” (the only member of any given team that was selected as an all-star) and then using a few select stats, (WAR, ERA+ and WHIP) try to come up with the worst lone-star rosters possible.

I only looked at all-stars from 1977 and beyond, because that was the year of the Blue Jays’ and Mariners’ introduction into MLB, and if I’d stretched it out too far before that, this project would’ve taken entirely too long to complete.

Thanks to baseball-reference.com, several cups of coffee and a few 5 Hour Energies on top of that, I was able to compile the complete Lone-Star lists for each team since 1977 in just under two days.

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How Deadspin Got It Wrong – What does “clickbait” really mean?

Some of you may have seen Tim Marchman’s rant thoughtful post on Gawker Media’s sports weblog, Deadspin, earlier today. Marchman had clearly reached his boiling point after enough commenters posters made their feelings known about pageview-driven journalism. Boy was he steamed.

It was fun to get a new perspective on the age-old “clickbait” debate, but there was one major problem with his piece.

Tim Marchman has no idea what constitutes “clickbait.” Let me explain…

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HFTE Exclusive: Here Are Some Problems I Have With “Here Are Some Problems I Have With Thanksgiving”

Turkey > Echo

Welcome back to Heading for the Exits. It’s been awhile, but I’m back now. Probably won’t be staying long, but alas, here I am. Anyway, noted poet, Same Sad Echo, wrote something earlier today that really got my goat. He decided that despite being an admittedly great holiday, he still wanted to complain about a few Thanksgiving-related things. In response, I’ve decided to go ahead and give his piece the full FJM-style treatment. Let’s get to it.

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Who’s Nower – Championship Results

Congratulations to the 2013 Who’s Nower Champion, PFTCommenter!


After a controversial move during the final matchup when he encouraged voters to choose his opponent instead of him, PFTCommenter proved that he is the master of reverse psychology, storming back from a wide margin at the time to conquer Piggy Poop Balls and crown himself the 2013 Who’s Nower Champion.

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Who’s Nower – Round of 2


Whos Nower

Well, here we are everybody. After almost five long weeks of drawn-out action, we’ve finally reached the dramatic conclusion of the 2013 HFTE Who’s Nower competition.

This week’s matchup is not for the faint of heart. In one corner we have the purveyor of strong takes and hard truths, PFTCommenter. In the other corner, we have a legend in his own right, Piggy Poop Balls.

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