An HFTE Guide For Concussed Quarterbacks: Bears Vs 49ers

 

Last Sunday saw the quarterbacks for arguably the top two teams in the NFC go down with concussions. On Monday, these two quarterbacks will go head to head (maybe). This guide is intended to serve as a list of reminders for Alex Smith and Jay Cutler, two guys who may be suffering from memory loss.

Jay Cutler

Alex Smith

  • The 49ers have a really good defense
  • You might want to wear a wristband with plays
  • You now have Brandon Marshall at WR
  • Protect yourself, Jason Campbell is the backup for Christ’s sake
  • If all else fails, give the ball to your stud RB
  • Your TE may be open on a seam route, whatever you do, DON’T THROW IT
  • Don’t tell the fans to fuck off when you hear them boo, you’re the road team, this is normal
  • You are not a cat, don’t lick your paws
  • The Matt Cassel flirting totally happened, that’s why you’re in Chicago
  • Don’t worry, your O-line will protect you
  • Number 73 on your team wants to fight you because you pushed him a few weeks ago

 

 

  • The Bears have a really good defense
  • You might want to wear a second wristband with plays
  • You now have Randy Moss at WR
  • Protect yourself, you don’t want to lose your job to Colin Kaepernick
  • If all else fails, give the ball to your stud RB
  • Your TE may be open on a seam route, whatever you do, THROW IT
  • The boos are not actually meant for you –a lot has changed—you are now loved, so when you hear boos, they’re probably meant for Cutler
  • You didn’t star in The Notebook
  • The Peyton Manning flirting never happened
  • We will just put Colin in for QB run plays
  • Yes, those small hands attached to your wrists do belong to you

On a serious note, concussions are not to be taken lightly, make sure you take care of your head, boys. Both of you play a vital role in trying to get your team to the NFC Championship game, where you will inevitably lose to either the Packers or Giants.

 

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