Hello! It’s me, Pat. Been awhile, eh? Boy oh boy, it sure has! Let’s blog!
Get happy! Football’s back! I don’t really have any insight on this week’s games and I’m only vaguely aware of what’s going on out there in the world these days, but that won’t stop me from making some picks! It’s football time! Let’s blog!
Carolina @ Denver
This game already happened, but that’s not important. What matters is that both of these teams go out there and have fun! Denver is a really fun city. That makes me wanna pick them. Carolina is actually two states, but they pretend they’re one for football. I’m just glad they get along. Friendship like that makes me want to pick Carolina. Oh, geez. This is a tough one.
PREDICTION: Carolina 49, Denver 6
Green Bay @ Jacksonville
I’m from Wisconsin, so obviously the Packers are going to win by a million. I’m gonna keep writing here to make the selections look proportional, (for now, we’ll see how I’m doing seven games from now) so I just wanna throw a quick shoutout to Blake Bortles – shoutout to Blake! You da man, Blake! I’m a big fan of Blake Bortles.
PREDICTION: Green Bay 106, Jacksonville -3
Buffalo @ Baltimore
I guess I’ll start with the obvious – both of these cities start with the letter B. That’s pretty good! Beyond that, they’ve both been working really hard to get better. That’s pretty commendable. This game, like so many others, will be won or lost on the field, and your guess is as good as mine as to how it’ll play out.
PREDICTION: Buffalo 3.5, Baltimore 0
Chicago @ Houston
I mentioned that I’m from Wisconsin earlier in this blog. JJ Watt grew up one city over from me, so he knows how important this game is to my picks. It’s a big one! Chicago’s actually a pretty nice city. I haven’t been to Houston, which adds a level of complexity to my pick here.
PREDICTION: Chicago 4, Houston 19
Cleveland @ Philadelphia
Both of these teams really like sports! Thanks goodness for that. This will be the game of the week. I don’t know much more about either of these teams beyond that. I did go to Cleveland for a wedding once. It was actually pretty fun! They also have a casino right downtown! Smart move by the city. Casinos are fun.
PREDICTION: Cleveland 11, Philadelphia 35
Tampa Bay @ Atlanta
These teams are pretty close together, I think, which is really nice for Tampa’s travel scheduler. They also don’t need to change time zones! I recently went to Tampa for a bachelor party. It was a blast! Atlanta plays it’s home games in a dome, but Tampa does not.
PREDICTION: Tampa Bay 15, Atlanta 23
Minnesota @ Tennessee
I just took a little break from blogging to have a bite of a Marie Callender’s Chicken Corn Chowder Pot Pie. I eat a lot of pot pies. Probably around seven a week or so. They’re pretty good, but it’s important to switch up the flavors sometimes. I also eat a lot of frozen pizzas. Shout out to California Pizza Kitchen Sicilian Style!
PREDICTION: Minnesota 0, Tennessee 0
Cincinnati @ New York Jets
Two teams share the same stadium in New York. That must be quite the hassle for schedulers. Now that I think about it, NFL schedulers are probably really nice people, and they seem to do a pretty good job! I’d buy them a coffee if they were behind me and I knew what they did for a living.
PREDICTION: Cincinnati 13, NYJ 14
Oakland @ New Orleans
New Orleans is a city that inspires a lot of people, and Oakland is also a city. Both of these cities are located near water, which is neat. Fanboat tours with the alligators and marshmallows are fun, and I’m sure there are things to do in Oakland, too.
PREDICTION: Oakland 8, New Orleans 35
San Diego @ Kansas City
I get down to San Diego on occasion. It’s a really great city. If you haven’t been there, you should go. I’ve never been to Kansas City, but I remember watching the World Series when they were in it and they would sometimes show people watching it on the street. It looked like a lot of fun and made me think that Kansas City probably knows how to party.
PREDICTION: San Diego 16, Kansas City 12
Miami @ Seattle
People seem to really enjoy the Pacific Northwest. Whenever someone travels there and I ask them how it was, they usually say nice things. I don’t know much about Miami, but I just finished watching season two of Narcos, which is a really good show. I highly recommend it.
PREDICTION: Miami 1, Seattle 95
Detroit @ Indianapolis
We’re in the home stretch now! I’ve driven through both of these cities!
PREDICTION: Detroit 5, Indianapolis 5
NY Giants @ Dallas
If a “Giants vs. Cowboys” B-movie exists, please let me know. I’d very much enjoy watching that. Every now and then, a friend and I will watch movies like that and then make jokes the whole time. It’s a lot of fun! I recently watched one that pitted cowboys versus dinosaurs in a movie called “Cowboys vs Dinosaurs.” 5-stars!
PREDICTION: NY Giants 12, Dallas 12.5
New England @ Arizona
It’s too bad that there’s only three games left to pick, because I just took my after-lunch Extra Strength 5 Hour Energy so I’m ready to roll! I’ve taken two of those a day for the last eight years or so, and let me tell ya, they’re pretty great. Make sure you buy in bulk! That also reminds me that I still haven’t seen Taken 2. I should probably see that!
PREDICTION: New England 12, Arizona 9
Pittsburgh @ Washington
For the first 16 years of my life or so, I thought that the Redskins were based out of Washington State, and found it very impressive that there was enough of a fanbase up there to justify two NFL teams. It’s nice that Washington D.C. has a team though, so I was happy when I found out the truth.
PREDICTION: Pittsburgh 42, Washington 5
Los Angeles @ San Francisco
I live in Los Angeles now, and let me tell ya, this town’s grocery store promotional displays are really jazzed about the Rams being back! Don’t worry, I forked over for the Sunday Ticket again, so I can still watch the Packers play. I really like the Packers.
PREDICTION: Los Angeles 22, San Francisco 20