Breaking Bad Santa Beats

Ed. Note: Friend of the Blog PostApocalypticRecSpecs returns this week with another edition of Breaking Bad Beats.

Glad PARS was able to recover in time to get these picks put together.
Glad PARS was able to recover in time to get these picks put together.

 

Yet again, I haven’t even had time to look at the matchups this week. I should have more time next week, waging this War on Christmas has taken its toll.

Titans at Packers (Current Line : Packers -12.5)

Where I live, there happens to be a lot of Packer related commercials. One of these goes like this: “Take me to the Tundra, huh – huh.” Every time I hear it, I scream my version, which is: “Fuck me in the Tundra, huh-huh.”  It doesn’t even make sense!

Packers -12.5


Raiders at Panthers (Current Line : Panthers -8.5)

I wouldn’t rule out Gruden returning to the Raiders so he could be reunited with the greatest player he ever drafted.

Panthers -8.5


Bills at Dolphins (Dolphins -4.5)

Something about his hair tells me that Reggie Bush fucks fat chicks.

Bills +4.5


Bengals at Steelers (Current Line : Steelers -3.5)

What if Mike Tomlin was black?

Bengals +3.5


Patriots at Jaguars (Current Line : Patriots -14.5)

Fourteen and a half was the last thing that girl said when she left my house yesterday, must be an omen. I’m betting this thing.

Patriots -14.5


Colts at Chiefs (Current Line : Colts -7)

Speaking of a “spread at seven,” what’s the difference between a seven year old boy, and seven year old girl? Nothing, when you fuck them in the ass.

Colts -7


Saints at Cowboys (Current Line : Cowboys -2.5)

I read a story that the Texans are planning on installing HD replay screens that would make them the largest in the NFL. [Jerry Jones schedules breast augmentation.]

Cowboys -2.5


Redskins at Eagles (Current Line : Redskins -6.5)

Shave that mustache, you fucking tub of Crisco.

Redskins -6.5


Rams at Buccaneers (Current Line : Buccs -3)

During a freshman football game, one of my friends jumped offside during a long-count timeout. Our coach asked him what play he was running. He had no answer.


Giants at Ravens (Current Line : Giants -2.5)

MOAR LIKE JIM CALDBAD….. LAST WEEK!!!1!

Giants -2.5


Vikings at Texans (Current Line : Texans -7.5)

“You Vikins is freeloaders, us Tixans is reloaders.”

Texans -7.5


Browns at Broncos (Current Line : Broncos -12)

PEYTON!!!!!!!111! Did you get that vile of blood I sent you?

Broncos -12

 

Bears at Cardinals (Current Line : Bears -6)

Remember that great start, Bears fans?

Bears -6


49ers at Seahawks (Seahawks -1)

-1 is also the name of a Mudvayne song. #TheMoreYouKnow

49ers +1

Chargers at Jets (Who Cares)

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6 Responses to Breaking Bad Santa Beats

  1. Gamboa says:

    Thought you’d sneak this in while I was busy, eh???

    I DID pick the Vikings, along with 10 other winners! Alas, the field had a better than average week as well, so I remain firmly entrenched in the shameful 98.5th percentile, with 2,363 (19 non-Raysisms) ahead of me.

    Way to weasel out on that Rams/Bucs game, by the way. I’m sure you’ll put it down as a push.

  2. Rec Specs says:

    Nah, the tone of the game has already been set. That’s something Gamboa would do.

    I may, however, use it to change my picks in the late games. I feel so empowered.

  3. Rec Specs says:

    I honestly thought I picked the Vikings. I meant to pick the Vikings. Oh well, now I have to cut off a toe.

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