Ed. Note: Friend of the Blog PostApocalypticRecSpecs returns this week with another edition of Breaking Bad Beats.
Yet again, I haven’t even had time to look at the matchups this week. I should have more time next week, waging this War on Christmas has taken its toll.
Titans at Packers (Current Line : Packers -12.5)
Where I live, there happens to be a lot of Packer related commercials. One of these goes like this: “Take me to the Tundra, huh – huh.” Every time I hear it, I scream my version, which is: “Fuck me in the Tundra, huh-huh.” It doesn’t even make sense!
Packers -12.5
Raiders at Panthers (Current Line : Panthers -8.5)
I wouldn’t rule out Gruden returning to the Raiders so he could be reunited with the greatest player he ever drafted.
Panthers -8.5
Bills at Dolphins (Dolphins -4.5)
Something about his hair tells me that Reggie Bush fucks fat chicks.
Bills +4.5
Bengals at Steelers (Current Line : Steelers -3.5)
What if Mike Tomlin was black?
Bengals +3.5
Patriots at Jaguars (Current Line : Patriots -14.5)
Fourteen and a half was the last thing that girl said when she left my house yesterday, must be an omen. I’m betting this thing.
Patriots -14.5
Colts at Chiefs (Current Line : Colts -7)
Speaking of a “spread at seven,” what’s the difference between a seven year old boy, and seven year old girl? Nothing, when you fuck them in the ass.
Colts -7
Saints at Cowboys (Current Line : Cowboys -2.5)
I read a story that the Texans are planning on installing HD replay screens that would make them the largest in the NFL. [Jerry Jones schedules breast augmentation.]
Cowboys -2.5
Redskins at Eagles (Current Line : Redskins -6.5)
Shave that mustache, you fucking tub of Crisco.
Redskins -6.5
Rams at Buccaneers (Current Line : Buccs -3)
During a freshman football game, one of my friends jumped offside during a long-count timeout. Our coach asked him what play he was running. He had no answer.
Giants at Ravens (Current Line : Giants -2.5)
MOAR LIKE JIM CALDBAD….. LAST WEEK!!!1!
Giants -2.5
Vikings at Texans (Current Line : Texans -7.5)
“You Vikins is freeloaders, us Tixans is reloaders.”
Texans -7.5
Browns at Broncos (Current Line : Broncos -12)
PEYTON!!!!!!!111! Did you get that vile of blood I sent you?
Broncos -12
Bears at Cardinals (Current Line : Bears -6)
Remember that great start, Bears fans?
Bears -6
49ers at Seahawks (Seahawks -1)
-1 is also the name of a Mudvayne song. #TheMoreYouKnow
49ers +1
Chargers at Jets (Who Cares)
Thought you’d sneak this in while I was busy, eh???
I DID pick the Vikings, along with 10 other winners! Alas, the field had a better than average week as well, so I remain firmly entrenched in the shameful 98.5th percentile, with 2,363 (19 non-Raysisms) ahead of me.
Way to weasel out on that Rams/Bucs game, by the way. I’m sure you’ll put it down as a push.
Nah, the tone of the game has already been set. That’s something Gamboa would do.
I may, however, use it to change my picks in the late games. I feel so empowered.
I honestly thought I picked the Vikings. I meant to pick the Vikings. Oh well, now I have to cut off a toe.
You know, you have the ability to edit that now, if you were so inclined.
Does it come with a tutorial telling me how to use the comment system properly?
[Jots down a note in the "Pledge Evaluation" notebook]