Thanks for your continued support of HFTE. Nobody is coming up tonight, but we’ve got Sgt. Hammerclaw and DJ Jazzy Jeff Weaver coming up tomorrow. Stay safe, gentlemen.
Deadspin Down All Night: The System is Down
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Hi, guys!
Big fan. I’m glad this is getting some traction. All of you that are writing here, you guys are good. Hope you keep this up.
Also, Makers on the rocks.
Also, listening to old school Red Hot Chili Peppers.
Also, having pork chops for dinner tomorrow, recipes?
ROCK!
Deadspin! You’re in a rut! You’ve got to get out of it!
Hey guys! Has anyone seen the picture of Bin Laden washing up at Ground Zero? It’s TOTES REAL!!!!!1!!
It’s funny you should say that, because Totes is one of North America’s foremost umbrella producers, and, in the event you haven’t noticed, it’s raining outside. #topical #GoldBond #fartz
Horse Spunk DDAN!
What’s Pokey so enthusiastic about anyway?
WHO DO I HAVE TO BLOW AROUND HERE FOR A YAKSPIN FEATURE EMPHASIZING FICTIONAL ACCOUNTS BY BURNERS DETAILING ACTUAL PEOPLE POOING THEIR PANTS IN PRESS BOXES???????????
I’m guessing….a horse?
Ever tried spooning with a Clydesdale? Let’s just say ain’t nobody humping around1!!!!11
Hey guys, bit of an update: I’ve lost 8 or 9 pounds since I originally typed that fatty post up.
That’s, like, a cat. That’s pretty good. I think I’m ready to drink sugar again.
Congratulations! For a great lo-cal thirst quencher, surf on down to the bottom of the page and check out what Hammerclaw’s drinking. Good stuff!
Water? In this economy?
Sorry, wrong page. There was another page where Hammerclaw said he was drinking a gallon of horse semen. That’s what I was thinking about. The other page. With the horse semen.
What I talk about in the privacy of my own pages is my own business, DJJJW!
I just rode in here on Sarah Jessica Parker and boy are my arms tired!
Love it.
Not gonna lie though, I had written a 10,000 word post for tomorrow with that joke as my punchline, so it’s kinda back to the drawing board now.
Sorry about that. Guess you’ll just have to find some other glue to hold your post together. Might I suggest ….
Elmer’s? It’s almost a cliché at this point, but it really works well and it does dry clear.
Yeah, question here. What’s with the emphasis on joke-y comments? I don’t get it. Please explain.
Deadspin has the ninjas and faeries. Are you the official HFTE comment_methodist?
Ha! Comment_Agnostic is more like it, amirite? (He’s not sure if there ar comments. He’s blind)
Or maybe comment_spiritualist? Becuase on days when Deadspin isn’t down, it’s a ghost town around here?
Just kidding, you spunky little urchins are spectacular.
Hey, what’s everyone drinking tonight? Tall glass of warm milk up in hurr.
Water on the rocks. I’m parched.
The ultimate thirst quencher. Great choice, Hammerclaw!
Diet Pepsi. To go with my breakfast of skittles.
Both of those things are true. As is the fact that I’m feeding my baby vanilla “yogurt” that looks suspiciously like melted ice cream.
DAD OF THE YEAR!1!
My wife just came downstairs. It turns out that “yogurt” was actually “pudding.” I am now in trouble.
Kids love pudding!
Aldi wine. Fucking delicious.
My own urine filtered through a Brita. (Just testing it in case the water goes out.) (I live in Chicago.)
I just spit water all over my computer. Thank you for that.