JAMBOROO!

Time for your weekly Monday Night Dick Joke Jamboroo, where we take a look at this week’s games.

I was driving through my neighborhood the other day dodging gigantic leaf piles with my minivan because the city hasn’t gotten off their lazy asses and picked them up. Have you ever swerved a minivan in and out of 4 foot leaf piles during the middle of the day? EXHILARATING  I felt like a real badass. I’ve taken up too much time, onto the games…

No Game Lines Posted Yet

Bullshit! I don’t care what Big Ongoing Game has to say about it, I need my gamblin’ fix damnit! If only my Cousin Sal were here to help me out with some fake lines. Oh well.

Song That Makes Me Want To Run Through A Brick Wall!

Cherry Pie by Warrant. This always reminds me of the last time I was in a strip club! AMIRITE?

Embarrassing Song On My iPod That Will Not Fire You Up

All By Myself by Celine Dion. This always reminds me of the car ride home from the last time I was in a strip club. Sometimes I cry when I hear it.

Gregggg Easterbrook is an Insufferable Dipshit

No, seriously. He hates GLORYBOYZ from the early rounds. Also, he hates jews and blacks.

Robert Evans MVP Watch

Robert Evans always updates us as to his MVP pick throughout the season.

“Baby, this week I like Ray Rice of the Baltimore Ravens. I banged a few hookers from behind before writing, so they’re all out of gas. I actually don’t know how to use a computer, and they can’t type any more.”

Cheap Beer

“Who gives a fuck?” beer. I do, that’s who! I MUST HAVE IT!

Gametime Snack of the Week

Heath Bars. I stole some from my kids. So good.

Fire this asshole!

Every week we look at who needs to be fired:

Hurricane Sandy

Great moments in poop history:

Marathon runner “R.” submits a story I like to call “In My Shorts”:

“One time I was running a marathon and I shit myself at the 23 mile mark. It sucked.”

Ew.

Jags Fan Movie of the Week:

Lord of War.

I know, I know. “Nic Cage sucks.” But this movie is actually pretty good.

Enjoy the games, everyone!

About Sgt. Hammerclaw

Sgt. Hammerclaw is probably listening to Alanis right now. You can follow him on twitter @datpuffey.
This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to JAMBOROO!

  1. Anonymous says:

    You are all handling this ‘other people now post comments on *our* deadspin’ thing really well.

  2. AMagicianNamedGod says:

    Stop using the F-WORD and curses so much in your writing. Aren’t you sposed to be a professional writer? Get a real job.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>