Merry Fucking Thanksgiving

 

HELLO. It is Thanksgiving. Well, for me it isn’t quite yet, because It’s 8:49 PM the night before Thanksgiving. I’m drinking.

Anyway, I can’t speak for the rest of the HFTE crew (because Sarge and Mantis have left us to elope in the woods, DJJJW spends the holidays upside down, UEA is crunching numbers in a nuclear sub, and Sweating Mullets has been held hostage for over 40 consecutive days by the Church of Latter Day Saints and also because I’m writing this without sending an e-mail) but I think we’re taking the holiday off. More or less. Because here’s another game for ya!

Remember when we all did DUAN? I did. So I asked Deadspin elder statesman Raysism to pull up the threads where we used to have some fun, and here’s what we found:

 

Christmas Commenter Name Game DUAN

When I was a kid, my mom would come up with these Christmas word games every year. They would always involve trying to solve some sort of riddle to come up with a Christmas song title, or something like that. Now that I’m 37 and Christmas has been eaten by Wal-mart and Target, I really miss that shit.

So in her honor, I have created the Christmas Deadspin commenter name game. At 9:30 PM Eastern, I will give you ten (10) clues, each corresponding to the name of a highly-recognizable (and starred) DS commenter.

Here’s an example:

Small-market baseball bigotry: RAYSISM

Some are easy, but a few will make you think. Let’s see who’s the first to get all ten. And you don’t need a star to win.

 

Here’s the link, if you want to reminisce. As Raysism deftly pointed out to me, don’t go flailing around in that DUAN if you don’t want to be bummed out about how many comments there are. BUT MORE ON THIS GAME IN A MINUTE

It wouldn’t be HFTE if we didn’t give you TWO things you actively wouldn’t give a shit about, so here’s the second: here and here we’ve got some classic posts from TDK and SavetoFavorites regaling us with the former’s own delightful trivia game. Here are the rules:

 Theodore Donald Kerabatsos

This might fail miserably, but here goes…

In the spirit of Raysism’s game below, here’s a simple game in which anyone can throw out clues or answers. You take the name of a well-known movie and change exactly one letter of the title, then you give a clue to see if anyone can figure it out.

Example: Clue — Forever sunny in a clean breeze

Answer — Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Wind

 

Bad fucking ass, right? OK, so here’s the idea. I’m going to give you a list of commenter names, a la Raysism, and you’ll post the answers below. If you’re feeling stumped, or you like movies because you’re an idiot nerd, we can play that game, too. Post your own clues and guesses! I’ll get us started:

Clue: A Nerdy Renaissance Guy Stands Up

Answer: ???!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?

And here’s the Commenter Name Game!

1. Ta da! The universe!

2. Only the choicest of starches

3. I really miss that Hornet

4. The streak continues, forever!

5.  This one….I’m going to keep.

6. Finally! [wipes brow] Oh no no no no no!

7. What’s your name?

8. In the distance, a solitary BZZZ

OK! I’ll be checking in to see if anyone has gotten these right or added more of their own! Enjoy your bullshit camaraderie and protein and shit!

(h/t Mantis, Raysism, StF, all yall)

About BronzeHammer

BronzeHammer is a warbling boner. Contact him with questions, concerns and complicated moneymaking schemes by throwing open the nearest window and hollering.
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37 Responses to Merry Fucking Thanksgiving

  1. Erg says:

    2. Only the choicest of starches = GourmetSpud

  2. Gamboa says:

    This game is way too complicated. I’ve got my own.

    Nickly Nickly Bo Bickly Banana Fanna Fo Fickly, Me-Mi-Mo-Mickly. NICKLY!!!

  3. Raysism says:

    7 must be scotchnaut. Or Norm de Plume. Or comotellamas.

  4. AMagicianNamedGod says:

    8. In the distance, a solitary BZZZ = Rare Endangered Vuvuzela?

    • BronzeHammer says:

      Nailed ‘em both, AMNG. At this pace, we’re gonna have this thing licked by Christmas.

      • AMagicianNamedGod says:

        The singular goal of having this thing licked by Christmas (even if it’s just once) is the only thing that keeps me married, year after year.

        Thanks for helping us stave off Alzheimer’s, BH.

  5. AMagicianNamedGod says:

    5. This one….I’m going to keep. = SavetoFavorites?

  6. AMagicianNamedGod says:

    BBAM’s ‘Raysism going to bed = “Dumb and Slumber”‘ is the best thing I’ll read all day.

  7. Raysism says:

    3 is BBAM.

  8. Gamboa says:

    You’re wrong again.

    6 is CW Fupa.

  9. Sgt. Hammerclaw says:

    1. AMagicianNamedGod

  10. Mantis Toboggan, M.D. says:

    Movie!

    Clue: Autofellatio

  11. Langalang says:

    2 is GourmetSpud.

    The movie is Dori Knight Rises.

    /lurker out

  12. Raysism says:

    I’ll just take one of these for now.

    Number 4 is one of my favorite commenters of all time: Always Winning

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