Monday Morning Haiku

Mondays suck, but it’s always a little easier to get through the day when you have a creative outlet. Personally, I enjoy writing haiku about things that are close to my heart to lift my spirits. As I bear my emotions for you, please remember, I’m not a professional poet by any means; I’m simply a real man with real feelings.

Heading For A Crush

Hammerclaw is hot
I prefer my men Sweaty
But is he a man?

Dikembe

Poor tall Congo boy
Who wants to sex Mutumbo?
Don’t wag your finger!

Forbidden Love

Chad Kroeger is god
Write your number on this ball
A-Rod wants your bod

Go Yiketty

Chipper Jones is fat
Chipper is no longer fat
Chipper Jones is fat

Diarrhea

Go to Taco Bell!
Get the new Cantina Bow!
Said no one ever

Desolate

“Want an autograph?”
Man at the table calls out
Virgil, let me be!

I hope you enjoyed this glimpse into my soul. If you feel moved to do so, give haiku your best shot in the comments section below.

About Big Sloppy

I own a Shaquille O'Neal "Dream Team II" jersey that my mom bought me from QVC in 1994. I'm also a two time winner of the prestigious Wiffleball National Columnist of the Year award. That's all I got going for me. Follow me on Twitter: @RJWinfield
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2 Responses to Monday Morning Haiku

  1. Erg says:

    Programming Note

    ESPN speaks:
    “Overdone! No more Tebow!”
    Skip Bayless sheds tears.

    /and a +1 for thee

  2. PolkPanther says:

    Black Monday is here
    Andy, Lovie, 5Chan, gone
    Mondays: none blacker

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