Last week, Hostess Brands Inc. filed a motion to liquidate with U.S. Bankruptcy Court*, which may very well mark the end of some of the most disgusting things that our parents may have crammed into our lunch pails such as Twinkies, Ding Dongs and Wonder Bread. I may not be alone when I ask – who really wants to ingest baked “goods” that have the texture of a Michelin tire anyway? I say good riddance, Hostess! Here are some other brands that we’d all be better off without:
Nobody likes using condoms, so just go ahead and leave us, Trojan. Hell, nobody even contracts AIDS from sex anymore, and everyone already has herpes and warts nowadays. Plus, we need more children on this planet to fill all of these available jobs.
The Florida Marlins have managed to enrage and alienate a city that has a rich history of not giving a shit about their sports teams. Good job, now be gone.
Holy Christ this stuff is bad! Worst canned meat and gravy combination that I have ever tasted.
When this brand goes away, Skip Bayless and Stephen A. Smith will hopefully go away too.
Take a hike, Ronco! Sorry hair-in-a-can users and food-dehydrating hippies.
Quit brain raping lost souls and stalking Katie Holmes. You have made enough money, time to wrap up operations.
I still haven’t been able to consume this garbage after eating their $5 box of crap, getting drunk and then having the worst case of simultaneous puking and shitting during the most brutal combination of hangover and food poisoning I have ever experienced. This was roughly 2 years ago and the thought of “Hot and Ready” still makes me ill.
I don’t care what’s happening in your life. I don’t care about your political views. I don’t care that you’re sick and tired of being sick and tired. I don’t care about something you did that you can now cross off your “bucket list”. While we’re at it, can we get rid of that stupid term “bucket list”? It’s not a brand, but if it were, it would make this list.
Do you have any other brands that you’d like to see get fucked? Please share in the comments.