Welcome to HFTE’s newest feature, where Sweaty gives you a stock pick and you go buy thousands of dollars worth of shares based on what he writes.

Full disclosure: I don’t know shit about investing, but I do know a hot thing when I see it. Hell, I told a person once that I wouldn’t touch Facebook stock because Facebook sucks balls.

This week’s hot and moist stock pick: ING (NYSE: ING)

After two full football seasons of being bombarded with ING commercials, I am fully
convinced that ING is not only here to stay, but on the up. ING made a huge marketing push by enlisting the biggest football star to ever walk on the face of the Earth (including oceans) to attach its three letters to. ING made its mainstream debut last football season when Tim Tebow posed like the letter G, which, not coincidentally, is the last letter in ING.  Suddenly, fans of Tebow everywhere started mimicking Tebow’s pose of the letter G and posting photos on the internet.

Now, ING started INGing things long before TebowING. Before the mainstream was fully aware of ING’s existence, there was coneING and plankING, but TebowING is the thing that really put ING on the map.  Even I got in on the ING thing by HanieING after Caleb Hanie put up a god-awful performance while filling in for Jay Cutler against the Denver TebowINGers. Now, if I’m buying in, you know it’s hot shit!

We are at the end of the 2012 football season, and more things are getting INGed than ever before. The rise of the quarterbacking superstar of Colin Kaepernick brought us KaepernickING.

ING even attached itself to the end of the terribly sad story of Manti Te’o.

By the year 2020, I have estimated that over a million things will have ING at the end of it. Buy now while it’s low. I haven’t checked the price, but I assume it’s low. Well, whatever the price is, it’s low compared to where it will be in five years, I think.

Stay tuned for Sweaty’s next hot and moist stock pick, where Sweaty gives you tips on how to diversify your portfolio. (Sneak peek: A cat meme or two.)