The HFTE Review of Books: Freedom

Author Jonathan Denim
Author Jonathan Denim

Critics have hailed it as “many, many pieces of paper bound together in an extremely professional manner.” In Freedom, acclaimed novelist Jonathan Franzen asks the age-old question, “Freedom?”

Freedom opens in St. Paul, Minnetonka, where Wilbur and Patsy Freedom are living the American Dream. Wilbur’s best friend, Ricardo Montalban, is a mysterious and sensual musician with whom Patsy is deeply in love. But Ricardo is hiding a terrible secret – a secret that Wilbur is desperate to uncover.

The tension between Wilbur and Patsy grows as both of their children make poor life decisions. Their son, Jermichael, falls in with a bad drugs crowd of people who do drugs, and their daughter, Jermichelle, decides to attend Dartmouth. The stress finally catches up with Wilbur, who decides that he must solve the Mystery of Ricardo, once and for all.

Wilbur confronts Ricardo in an explosive encounter at their neighborhood Denny’s Restaurant. “Ricardo,” said Warren. “Tell me your secret!” Ricardo tearfully confesses his secret… “Damn it, Warren, it’s The Code…The Da Vinci Code!”

After finishing their Delicious Grand Slam Breakfasts, Ricardo and Wilt don fedoras and immediately travel to Paris, where they find the Da Vinci Code and crack the Da Vinci Code just in time before the world ends. “Freedom,” said Wilt and Ricardo together as they breathlessly gazed into each other’s eyes, “The Da Vinci Code are Freedom.” “Great job, dudes!” said Tom Hanks as he awesomely high-fives Emilie.

Then, in the second chapter, Jonathan Franzen begins an unflinching examination of the modern American family, and it goes on like this for another eight hundred pages.

RATING: 2 (two) WORKS OF “ART” BY DAMIEN HIRST. THESE DEAD COWS ARE NOT ART. THEY’RE JUST DEAD COWS FOR CHRIST’S SAKE. YOU’RE NOT FOOLING ME, DAMIEN HIRST! GO BACK TO RUSSIA!

About DJ Jazzy Jeff Weaver

DJ Jazzy Jeff Weaver is a cat scientist. Follow him on Twitter: @DJ_Jeff_Weaver.
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5 Responses to The HFTE Review of Books: Freedom

  1. cobra says:

    On boy-oh-boy have you ever opened a can of worms with your Damian Hirst criticism. Funny thing is, Mr. Jizzy Jazz has an original Jeff Koons balloon-piece floating in his living room, or so my vantage point from this mess of shrubbery would indicate. I’m watching you.

  2. Same Sad Echo says:

    I am usually not one to nit-pick, but I believe the book you *actually* reviewed was Pudding Pops Don’t Go There: Bill Cosby’s Secret Rage by Keisha Knight Pulliam.

  3. Sneijderman says:

    I have been searching for a new book ever since I finished Frog and Toad. I believe I have now found it. I can’t wait until a few months from now when I can finally add The HFTE Review of Books: Freedom to my bookshelf.

  4. Raysism says:

    Um, I know it’s been a couple of years since I read this book, but it seems to me that your review brings this book to life as if I had just read it yesterday!

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